Married to a woman and gay
I’m a Straight Woman Who Married a Gay Man
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Dear Prudence,
I met my husband 13 years ago, and we’ve been together ever since. We fell deeply, madly in affection with each other and have been married for nine wonderful years now. He’s patient, kind, gentle-hearted. He’s also always been honest about being gay and has never secret it from me. Only one of our reciprocal friends knows this about my husband. Our son also knows, since we thought it would be best to remain expose with him about it, so he never “found out” by surprise or from our mutual companion. Our son took the news very well and doesn’t care that his father was gay.
I’ve never told my family, or really any of my friends, as I ponder they’d all be judgmental. My siblings don’t fond of my husband, but that’s a different letter
A gay man and a straight woman got married. They say it's not a 'lavender marriage' but founded on 'true pure love.'
Growing up gay and without examples of victorious marriages in his family, Jacob Hoff didn't consider he'd ever get married — let alone to a woman.
But in November last year, Hoff, 31, married his longtime girlfriend, Samantha Wynn Greenstone,
When Business Insider spoke to the LA-based couple in , they explained that they were in a "mixed-orientation" relationship, meaning that they have different sexual orientations. Hoff is a gay man, and Greenstone is a straight woman.
The two musical theatre performers started off as leading friends, but started dating in when Greenstone admitted that she had lovey-dovey feelings for Hoff and he realized he felt the same way.
They've now been together for eight years in a monogamous relationship, and decided to tie the knot last year.
BI caught up with them to ask about their wedding, future plans, and whether the way others see them has changed.
Hoff and Greenstone lay their own 'campy' stamp on wedding My Husband’s Not Gay, a show on TLC, has caused an uproar. The negative attention is unfortunate because this could possess been a show that highlighted mixed-orientation couples and how these couples can actually make their relationships work.
Why do some people become so outspoken and judgmental about marriages with one straight and one gay spouse? There are several reasons. These marriages raise concerns about infidelity. They bring out people’s judgments about what marriage should or should not be. In particular, they bring out people’s judgments about monogamy.
Finally, these relationships suggest to some people “reparative therapy,” the unethical and impossible claim that a person can be changed from gay to straight. The men in this television program aren’t claiming to be ex-gay nor that they can change their sexual orientation (at least not on the show). They state they are attracted to men but choose not to live as a gay man and their straight wives accept this.
People seem to get up in arms when a man says he is not gay but rather simply attracted to men. In our cultu
I recently spoke with Bonnie Kaye, author of Straight Wives, Shattered Lives: Stories of Women with Gay Husbands, among other books, and host of Bonnie Kaye’s Straight Wives Converse Show on BlogTalkRadio. Bonnie has spent much of her adult life first living with and attempting to love a gay husband and then helping other women in the same mis-marriage situation. (“Mis-marriage” is Bonnie’s term for “mistake in marriage.” Other people sometimes refer to these relationships using the term “mixed marriage.”)
Source: Shutterstock
Because I know countless gay men who were once married to straight women, with varying degrees of short and longer-term happiness and misery, I wanted to discuss this topic, and I wanted to do so from the straight wives’ perspective. Who better to speak with about this than Bonnie Kaye? Our discussion was wide-ranging, beginning with her own marriage to a gay man and progressing to how she was able to move on post-marriage, eventually becoming a rock for other women in similar situations.
In this post, I have presented part one of this discussion, the st
My Husband’s Not Gay, a show on TLC, has caused an uproar. The negative attention is unfortunate because this could possess been a show that highlighted mixed-orientation couples and how these couples can actually make their relationships work.
Why do some people become so outspoken and judgmental about marriages with one straight and one gay spouse? There are several reasons. These marriages raise concerns about infidelity. They bring out people’s judgments about what marriage should or should not be. In particular, they bring out people’s judgments about monogamy.
Finally, these relationships suggest to some people “reparative therapy,” the unethical and impossible claim that a person can be changed from gay to straight. The men in this television program aren’t claiming to be ex-gay nor that they can change their sexual orientation (at least not on the show). They state they are attracted to men but choose not to live as a gay man and their straight wives accept this.
People seem to get up in arms when a man says he is not gay but rather simply attracted to men. In our cultu
I recently spoke with Bonnie Kaye, author of Straight Wives, Shattered Lives: Stories of Women with Gay Husbands, among other books, and host of Bonnie Kaye’s Straight Wives Converse Show on BlogTalkRadio. Bonnie has spent much of her adult life first living with and attempting to love a gay husband and then helping other women in the same mis-marriage situation. (“Mis-marriage” is Bonnie’s term for “mistake in marriage.” Other people sometimes refer to these relationships using the term “mixed marriage.”)
Source: Shutterstock
Because I know countless gay men who were once married to straight women, with varying degrees of short and longer-term happiness and misery, I wanted to discuss this topic, and I wanted to do so from the straight wives’ perspective. Who better to speak with about this than Bonnie Kaye? Our discussion was wide-ranging, beginning with her own marriage to a gay man and progressing to how she was able to move on post-marriage, eventually becoming a rock for other women in similar situations.
In this post, I have presented part one of this discussion, the st